hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
