I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
