two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I enjoy the company of your penis
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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