He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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