lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
now i know why i became what i already was.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
