How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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