That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
