Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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