Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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