Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
you will always have a special place in my vag
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
i think my cat just said my name.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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