she was so not down for the gang bang
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
