she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
