Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
