Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
