You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
