I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
