I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
