He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
