i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
