Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
