Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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