"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
