i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
