If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize