whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
