so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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