Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
