have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize