shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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