apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
