This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
