thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
North Korea, Best Korea!
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize