I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
