All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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