Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Are we still banned from the library?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
