She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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