1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
