you would pick up someone in the library
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
