she kept yelling 'call me bella'
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
