Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
