i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Randomize
