And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
