you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
