his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
