I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
