I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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