If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
