So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
