I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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