Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
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