She said her name was "party"
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
