That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
