Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
