I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
