If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
