He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
