It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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