Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
