I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
