but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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