she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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