she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
