Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
